SONOVABITCH

My baby broke my eye! Seriously. She scratched my cornea, right across the middle, a couple of months ago. Apparently, after two weeks of eyedrops and goop, and two doctors later, I am now eligible for step 2. SALT drops in my eye for a month. Then a checkup, and probably several more months of this. If it sounds painful it is. According to the doctor here, I might have blurry vision for the rest of my life. But don't worry, there is a silver lining... I could probably fix it with a mere CORNEA SCRAPE. Mmmmm. Can't wait.

Eyeball stuff doesn't bother me (when it's someone else's eyes of course) like it does alot of people. I used to want to be an opthamologist for years but figured my hands were not steady enough to perform any type of surgery. Needles don't bug me either. I like to watch. I found myself getting queasy yesterday while hearing about someone's ankle being reduced to puree after falling down some stairs. That was a bit surprising as I'm not generally queasy. If I remember correctly, crunched-up and/or bleeding ankles have bothered me since I was very small. Other things that bother me are bees (probably because I am allergic) and teeth. Teeth totally wig me out. Kudos to dentists for having the stomach- those sick bastards. I am a clencher in my sleep. I thought it was normal to wake up with a sore jaw until I was about 17. I always have nightmares about my teeth falling out, although considerably less now that I sleep with a guard. Unless you've experienced a tooth nightmare there is no way you can understand the absolute horror of it. A few years ago a piece of tooth just fell off, then another. My dentist said I was literally clenching my teeth to pieces. This probably explains why these dreams are so awful. And real.

Put the oven on fire yesterday. Who knew honey garlic was so flammable? Kind of like burning marshmallows. Must be all the sugar. Flooded the coffee pot today. I wonder what tomorrow will bring.

People I hate today:
Assholes at the Passport Office
Girl who rang me through at IGA yesterday
People who continually send me emails to"brighten my day, please send back" and haven't noticed that I NEVER send anything back
Whoever keeps claiming that Angelina Jolie is the sexiest woman alive (not hate, serious annoyance and some mild distrust)
Michael Moore (this has nothing to do with politics, I just don't like him)
Anyone who had anything to do with that Pepto Bismal commercial where everyone does a Macarena-like dance and holds their asses

People I find interesting this week:
Ken Jennings (wicked fast smarty-pants, I gotta respect that a little)

Movies I've seen lately:
Shrek 2- Awesome. Puss in Boots had me on the floor.
Harry Potter 3- Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.
Stepford Wives- Ehhh. Okay but a bit of a letdown.
Van Helsing: Glad I saw it. Never need to see it again.
Power of One- Probably would have been very good if I hadn't read the book and know how the STORY REALLY GOES! BASTARDS!

Quotes:
-You don't marry someone you can live with, you marry the person who you cannot live without. (unknown)
-Insanity in individuals is something rare- but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule. (Friedrich Nietzche)

Favorite lyrics:
-Well, the rain exploded with a mighty crash as we fell into the sun... (Band on the Run, Wings)