(....)... ?

I've had These Boots Were Made For Walking stuck in my head for 3 days. Damn Shrek 2 and Far Far Away Idol! I know, I'm a geek. That's ok though because I've accepted it and am not ashamed! I will not hide anymore! I am free! whatever

My 8 month old daughter is turning around and around (and around and around) in her exersaucer while holding a giant green salad spoon shaped like a cartoon hand. Who needs tv?

I try not to talk too much about her here because people who yammer on and on about their kids irritate me. Now, if a bunch of moms are sitting around exchanging tales, that's another story. Especially labour stories- I always win (44 hours and a plane ride.) I do mention her from time to time because she is involved in 98% of my daily activities. My biggest pet peeve is when I'm on the phone with someone and they say "Here, talk to my baby." Aaargh! I never do that. Besides Kitten is much better at phone-speak than any baby.

Something that always bothers me in punctuation is the whole bracket or quotation mark at the end of a sentence ordeal. If I remember correctly, the ) or the" is at the very end of the sentence. I think it makes more sense to put the period last signifying the very END of the statement. I really can't remember the rules. Sometimes I'm tempted to put the period twice, just to cover all the bases. But that could get out of control in a hurry.

I want to rant about my mom a bit. When she left here after her last visit she decided she would try to call me every day. Not realistic, but a nice effort was made. For about a week. I haven't talked to her in a week and that's only because I call her. I know she has a hectic work schedule but it pisses me off. I called today and less than 2 minutes into the conversation she passes the phone to my aunt and takes off. She tried to pass me to my uncle and my brother but I deflected. I talked to her for 1 minute and then she passed the phone to my sister-in-law because she had her hands in dishwater. While talking to Ness, someone else needed the phone and we had to hang up. I heard mom yell in the background that she would call me back. Right. Later when she complains that I never call her, I hope she remembers the dishes that were so important. I know how trivial this must sound but I don't care. It happens all the time.

For reasons I don't feel like explaining I was thinking about break-up rules. I just always assumed when you are with someone, naked, there is a certain etiquette to be followed. I'm not talking about one-nighters (those are to be enjoyed at your own risk), but relationship-type situations. For instance, no matter how mad you are the ex that is seemingly ruining your otherwise peaceful existence, you don't resort to personal attacks on that person's physical appearance and/or hygiene.
You never say:
1. Your penis is too small.
2. Your boobs are uneven.
3. You're fat.
4. Your birthmark in the shape of Satan really creeps me out.
5. You give the worst head I've ever had.
6. The cottage cheese on your ass/thighs makes me want to throw up.
7. You're breath smells like you've been sucking air through assholes.

Well maybe you do. I just try and avoid the really big hurts because you can NEVER take them back. I grew up with 3 brothers and I still remember some of their insults. And it still hurts.

Today's wise words:
Watch out where the huskies go
An' don't you eat that yellow snow -Frank Zappa