asphinctersayswhat

I'm going crazy! I can't wait to start Christmas stuff but have made a personal vow to abstain until December out of respect for the man I love. It's ssssooo haaard. Why can't I have a job being a professional present-wrapper or Christmas tree decorator? I'd do it for free but that would probably worry people. "Hi, can I come in your house and make it look festive and wrap all your presents so they look pretty? Please?" I figure it's ok to start decorating early if no one else cares and I'm home so damn much anyways. I don't, however, appreciate department stores putting Xmas trees up before Halloween or playing carols before Dec. 1. I'm nutty but not completely insane. Falalalala lala la la.

Yesterday I went into the video store and the genius behind the counter tried to charge me $21.40 in late charges for a dvd I didn't rent. I supposedly rented it October 23 and returned it on the 31. I've been there 3 or 4 times since and this is the first I've heard of it. Also I DIDN'T RENT IT! I think I would know. I politely explained that I usually do all the renting and I would have noticed. I refused to pay him until I checked with Ken, to be fair. I asked him if he could help me locate the new release so I knew what he talking about. Perhaps it would ring a bell if I knew who was in it or something. He couldn't find it. Of course he couldn't because after I got home and looked on the net I discovered IT HASN'T BEEN RELEASED YET. Today I went back and after waiting an acceptable amount of time (he was showing me who's boss) I explained this. He thrust a receipt at me clearing my debt and said "There!" like it was my fault he's a moron and didn't even know what the hell movies he has out for rent. What an asshole. Yesterday was the first time I ever laid eyes on him but I noticed today that his little name tag said SUPERVISOR. Of course it did. I'm almost tempted to rent at the other video store, but I think we have late charges there from 8 months ago.

Is there anything less sexy than a porn star with visible hemorrhoids? If there is, please DON'T tell me what it is.

Quotes of the day:

Jesse Helms and Newt Gingrich were shaking hands congratulating themselves on the introduction of an anti-gay bill in Congress. If it passes, they won't be able to shake hands, because it will then be illegal for a prick to touch an asshole. -Judy Carter

Judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

YIKES! -Tracy Berndt ( in response to the above quote)