Penis Envy
I received a very lovely bouquet flowers on Friday! I'm pretty sure this is because I'm a domestic goddess. Either that or it's because I bitched and moaned and stamped my feet. Doubtful. But anything's possible. Actually, the real reason made me cry, just a little.
Since I've been home things have gone relatively well. I feel happy and hopeful and have been able to start organizing and cleaning with a little more focus. This is a good thing. Of course, I'm no miracle worker. I've also tried to devote a little more time to reading. I have a stack of books that I have vowed to get through before I purchase any more books. Wish me luck. There's always one that sits there for a year before I'm in the mood to read it. Right now it's Dickens' David Copperfield. If anyone has anything good to say about it, let me know. A good review is always motivating for me.
My current "stack" includes:
The Drawing of the Three, Stephen King
Henry Sugar & Six More, Roald Dahl
Galveston, Paul Quarrington
Life of Pi, Yann Martel
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, Frank Baum
The Lord of the Flies, William Golding (again)
Introducing Nietzsche, Gane & Chan
Daring Missions of World War 2, Breuer
David Copperfield, Dickens
I also have to finish:
Barry Trotter & the Unfortunate Sequel, Michael Gerber
In God We Trust- All Others Pay Cash, Jean Shepherd (aka A Christmas Story)
plus the assorted toilet training, parenting thingies.
The next dozen books I want is already planned out and written down but not all are in paperback yet. I think the worst thing about dying will be leaving unfinished/unread books behind. It will really piss me off. With my luck, the waiting room to the pearly gates will be filled with crappy books by female authors.(Yes, I'm author-sexist) Hey, I'm Catholic, maybe I just figured out Purgatory! You have to read all the V.C. Andrews books, in the wrong order!
I found a sight devoted to interesting facts. For instance, the barnacle has the largest penis compared to it's size. It can be more than 20 times it's length. This is so it can pop next door and give it's neighbour a friendly poke. Just think of the possibilities of a man with those proportions. He could do the dishes or mow the lawn (a little risky) while tending to his husbandly duties. More than likely he'd use it to pee out on the lawn while playing Counterstrike.
Did you know that billy goats urinate on themselves to make themselves more attractive to the females? I bet they do it in the shower!
6 Comments:
Wow that's quite the reading list - I wish I were that organized. I've got about 20 books or more sitting randomly throughout my bookshelves just waiting for me to get a chance to look at them, but then something happens and either more stuff comes out, I'm too busy with other stuff, or I just can't concentrate. At least my ratio of read:unread books has stayed about the same, and I'd probably do better if I stopped re-reading all the ones I really enjoyed, but when the mood hits, you just go with it right?
And with the giant penis thing... somehow that just creeps me out. Then the guys would be able to put away their lightsabres and swords and just whack each other with their cocks - just sounds so terrible!
In a sense, they'd have to "beat" each other to death.
LOL yeah I agree with what you said about Dicken's being hard to sit through! Actually I just realised that the ONLY one of his that I own is David Copperfield, and I abandonded it for a (TBA) later date. The others I've read were in class, and I never finished Bleak House (had to read 12 other books in 13 weeks just for that ONE class, so I did the math and bought the sparknotes).
I'm more of a Pride and Prejudice gal - I think I read it about once a year, and then I'll sit down and watch the 5 hour BBC miniseries!
I thought Life of Pi was really cool, but I read it in Canadian Literature 320, and it was just so much better than everything else so not sure if that says anything about the book, or just the sampling of Canadian authors we had. There's a movie in development directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet (Amelia, Very Long Engagement, and sadly Alien: Ressurection) so I can't wait to see that either!
Well, I have read some of Dickens' Christmas stuff. A Christmas Carol is one of my favorites, but at least one of the others (The Christmas Tree?) was way too long-winded. I also remember enjoying Oliver Twist in grade school. David Copperfield just looks so much bigger!
Bryce Courtenay is one of my very favorite authors. The first time I picked up one of his books it seemed very Dickensy. Then the main character got gang-raped and beaten. I was hooked! He writes historical-type books (something I never thought I would like) often based on some sort of truth or experience. Highly recommended!
Oh that was what you meant when you said I have a penis like a barnacle.
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