Blue

Today I leave for Elk Snout, Alberta. Actually it's Elk Point but I'm in a Snouty frame of mind. Actually, if I was being honest, I would call it Stupid-Elk-Fat-Asshole-In-Fucking- Nowheresville-Fuck. I'm leaving in an hour and I just realized I don't want to see my friends.
Rather, I don't want them to see me. I haven't felt this horribly shitty about myself in years and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and play possum.
I need to get my shit together
Kyla needs my support for this thing (her wedding) and has asked me to help get her house in order, protect her from vicious, traditional, family wedding-pranks, and keep things merry so her family doesn't dwell on the horrible death that will be hanging around like a black cloud. She's asked me to sit at the head table. That's very sweet of her but now I have visions of me standing up to say grace, baby in arms, bulging out of my clothes, dropping the tiny slip of paper I haven't bothered to memorize and after the meal, having food stains allover my ivory outfit as I will have to eat one-handed while holding baby. Fun and friggen games.
Today Celia got her shots again. Nothing like watching your tiny baby getting stabbed with three, inch long needles to start your day.

Todays quote "Blue are the feelings that live inside me" -Blue, Eiffel 65
This may be the lamest quote EVER.