1988-1991 Revisited

I always bitch about how 90's music sucks hardcore, especially when compared to the happy tunes from the eighties. I had to rethink this yesterday while alone in the car, screaming along to satellite radio. Most of the eighties stuff I like, and there are alot of good nineties songs I tend to forget about. After I graduated there was some decent music around and that was still the nineties. I've narrowed the truly terrible music down to about four strongly, abusive years. Think 1988 to about 1991. Remember these songs: Don't Worry Be Happy, Wishing Well, Pump Up the Jam, Buffalo Stance, Wild Thing (Tone-Loc) and Walk the Dinosaur. Quickly taking over the world at this time were artists (I use this term loosely) like MC Hammer, Bobby Brown and Vanilla Ice. Meanwhile the assault of the hairbands went on and on. And on. Bad English, Warrant, Aerosmith, Skid Row, Guns'N'Roses, LA Guns and Motley Crew just off the top of my head. It seemed the radio played requests 24 hours a day and Kasey Kasem owned the airwaves. The clothes at this time were equally atrocious. I had a girlfriend who consistently wore three different color pairs of slouch-socks together (all neon) so she had a veritable rainbow above her Ked-clad feet, and her jeans were pinch-rolled and tucked into the socks. Each pair of socks matched something else on her body, a t-shirt, a tank-top under the t-shirt, a scrunchy, etc. This girl was the pinnacle of fashion and envied by all. This was no mean feat. Have you ever tried to pinch-roll a pair of hammer-pants? While this mutation of the eighties was going on, grunge was just beginning. So after hours of careful color coordinating, one might throw a grey plaid shirt over everthing, tied at the waist of course. Eww eww eww. Although there were several good movies released during this time, and I am only focusing on the negative, because that's how I remember this time in my life, I will just say this : You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? I rest my case. The top shows on the t.v were Alf, My Two Dads, Roseanne, and Blossom. Leave us not forget The Arsenio Hall Show. Ahem. This whole era of error was a disaster, a stain in my life. The only memories I can muster from this dismal time are ones of hanging out at the graveyard, learning to smoke, marvelling at the movie Colors, and of course, listening to the radio. I cannot help but feel deeply ashamed.

The Short Lived Cartoon: Hammerman